Pandora's Box
by Catherine Antrim
Summary: The Maurauders and Lily have all begun their 6th years at hogwarts. The five teenagers have grown up during the darkest years of the war. While the battle rages outside the castle, they are fighting their own demons.
1. Mid July

Mid July, 1976

_Dear Marlene,_

_How are you? I'm well, though I miss you. I've got loads of summer homework since I'm taking N.E.W.T. classes next year. I'm sure you remember what that's like. All my O.W.L.s were good, all E's and O's except for History of Magic. That was bound to happen right? At least now I can drop it. I guess I must be boring discussing homework with you, but it's not like you're going to respond anyway. I've written you several letters already._

Lily hesitated, running her quill over her teeth before adding;

_By several I mean twelve. I'm worried and have been checking the papers but I suppose if something was wrong it would be there. Did you see about those murders last week? It was horrible. Any killing is bad enough, but children? Sometimes I wonder how those people sleep at night. Anyway, I suppose my owl is just getting senile._

_Hope you are well,_

_Lily_

Lily looked at the letter for a moment before balling it up and throwing it in the corner. There was no point in writing Marlene again, especially with a demented owl. Lily turned to Opal, who was asleep with her grey head under her wing. She did look a bit old.

"I don't really think you're senile dear," Lily informed Opal, who ignored her completely. "Just try and find Marlene ok?"

Lily drew out a fresh piece of parchment and wrote only:

_Dear Marlene,_

_Have you been getting my letters? I miss you and hope you are well. Please respond!_

_Lily_

Opal rustled her feathers with annoyance and tried to bite Lily's hand when she tied the letter to her leg. She surveyed her with haughty amber eyes.

"You can wait until night if you're tired," Lily suggested. Opal blinked unfazed and took off out the open window. Lily watched her fly over the power lines, startling the flocks of black birds sitting on them. The sun had dyed the clouds pink and the heat as finally letting up. Lily rolled over on the bed and grabbed The Prophet, hoping maybe if she read it again it would mention Marlene this time. Lily could see the headline.

**Brock Family on Holiday, Friends Frantic.**

Lily smiled and put down the paper, listening to the sounds of the house. Somewhere water was running through the pipes and a phone was ringing. It had taken Lily a while to readjust to the odd noises of the muggle world. The castle seemed huge, empty and silent compared to this cramped, beeping house.

"Lily!" Petunia's shrill voice carried up the stairs. "Telephone!"

Lily jumped off the unmade bed and flew downstairs, tripping over boxes, her heart beating fast. Surely this was Marlene, calling to tell her she'd been away and never got my owls and still was my friend.

"Hello?" said Lily eagerly.

"Hey Lily, its Anne," said unfamiliar voice.

"Who?" Lily had momentarily forgotten that anyone but Marlene existed.

"Gee, it's only been a year. Anne Burns, your best friend since kindergarten…"

"Oh yeah, what do you want?" Lily demanded edgily. Marlene was my best friend.

"I was wondering if you'd like to do something tonight. Most people are out of town but I should have remembered that you never do anything."

"Oh, no thanks going out would mean doing something."

An hour later, however, Lily walking to Anne's house, wondering how she had been convinced so easily and what on earth she was going to talk about with this silly muggle girl. Anne was sitting on her porch looking exactly like Lily remembered her, save her slightly longer hair and legs. Anne greeted her and together they made their way down the street in the direction of the town. The air smelt sweet and floral and the sky was clear and opening before them. Lily wondered what it was like to have a simple life, going to muggle school, coming home to your parents every night, not being aware that somewhere people were dying at the hands of dark wizards. Lily was finding it hard to talk to someone so different, but Anne was providing most of the conversation. Lily was beginning to relax by the time they reached town.

"I missed you," Anne informed her, over the towering chocolate milkshake she had purchased from the local dinner. They had loved to come here as children, Lily remembered how the counter had once seemed larger and the kids who sat at it had once been terrifyingly tall. She could still hear the sound her leather shoes had made, a pleasant clicking as she skipped across the tiles. They'd be newer then.

"I did too," Lily admit, realizing for the first time that she had, a bit. They'd been inseparable for years, attached at the hip, people said. If Marlene now hated her, at least she had a muggle friend to talk to on holidays. Or she could drop out and go to school in a grey uniform with Anne. People would say "What happened to that Evans girl?" and people would shake their heads and whisper and someone would blurt out; "I hear she's bagging groceries at that place on the corner" and someone would shake their head and say what a shame it was, she had so much potential, look at her O.W.L.s. If only stupid Marlene would just write and tell her she was alive.

They took the long way home, watching the sun set over the ugly box like houses. Darkness was settling in and the buzzing in the trees was growing louder. Everything seemed at peace for once, the irregular sounds of the cars on the highway above and the clip-clopping of Anne's shoes were the only human noises for miles around.

As they walked through the bad end of the town, Anne looked nervously at the beer cans in the gutters and the mounds of rotting garbage that had been put out for collection that morning. Lily too walked a little faster, not afraid of muggles but remembering now that they weren't supposed to be out at dusk these days.

"Freeze!" said a voice.

Anne froze and Lily spun around. A scruffy looking man was standing in the shadows, looking at them with blood shot eyes.

"What do you want?" Lily said boldly. There was no answer; the man was reaching in his jacket, no doubt getting a gun. Lily pulled her wand out a second faster. In that same second, she realized it was no gun.

"Expelliarmus!" she shouted, as he raised his wand.

"Stupefy!" he said, dodging her spell. Lily dove out of the way and the jet of red light hit Anne, who was still frozen in place, her mouth open. Lily paused to watch Anne's eyes roll up in her sockets and her body fall.

"Expelliarmus," Lily said again, causing his wand to fly out of his grip and into the bushes. Rather than try and retrieve it, he came at her, his hands in fists.

"Stupefy! Stupefy!" Lily said, but he dodged both times and Lily retreated. "Petrificus totalus!" She shouted. It hit his arm, but was nevertheless effective. Lily didn't look back at him as she ran to Anne's side and said softly. "Ennervate."

Anne's eyes flew open and she looked around fearfully.

"Oh god, did I fall asleep? I had the weirdest dream, I-" she stopped, looking from Lily's wand to the petrified body beside her. "I'm still dreaming," she said, her voice rising with panic. "Someone pinch me."

"Don't be afraid, but we have to move quickly, I need to get home so I can send a message," Lily said, offering her a hand up.

"Get away, don't touch me!" Anne backed away from her on the sidewalk.

"Anne-" Lily said gently, coming closer

"Get back!" Anne was up and running. Her back disappeared into the night. Felling lost, Lily followed her. She had come to a railroad bridge when she heard a familiar noise in the trees.

"Opal?" Lily called softly. There was a rustling of feathers and my owl flew towards her, a letter clutched in her talons. Lily's mind returned to Marlene, who for once had been forgotten. To her disappointment, it was not a reply but her own undelivered letter. Digging in her bag, Lily produced a quill and ink and scribbled a letter to Dumbledore, knowing he would be interested in what happened. No doubt ministry officials would be there any minute already. Her palms sweaty, she returned home.

There two of cloaked men on the porch waiting for her. Her family too was outside, looking nervous. Petunia kept glancing to the neighbor's houses, fearful that they were watching.

"What's going on?" Lily said, looking from her sobbing mother to the stern men beside her.

"You're under arrest," said her mum tearfully. "There must be some mistake…"

"I was attacked," Lily explained breathlessly, wondering if they believed her. "I can prove it; the man who attacked me is over there paralyzed!"

The ministry officials and her parents followed her down the street, under the bridge and around the corner. Her stomach turned. There was nothing, far as the eye could see, but empty sidewalk.

"I swear, I left him here!" Lily said frantically, wondering if she had gone mad.

"You're still going to have to come with us," said one of the men, moving towards her.

"Now, now, not so fast," Lily looked around to see none other than Professor McGonagall heading towards us. "Professor Dumbledore sent me," she explained to the men, then she had Lily recount what had happened.

"Were you alone?"

Lily paused, it was hard to get used to seeing McGonagall outside of school. That, paired with seeing the cloaked officials standing on a muggle street beside her parents was making the whole situation feel very unreal.

"No, my friend Anne was here, but she ran off..."

"A muggle?" asked the Professor. Lily nodded. "Take me to her house."

Once at Anne's house, the ministry officials banged on the door and Anne's eyes appeared and the window. She shrieked and the men opened the door.

"Get out!" she cried. "That door was locked."

It took a few minutes to convince her to sit down and talk, and when she did she was shaking head to toe. Lily didn't listen to them question her, but rather was questioned by professor McGonagall about what the man looked like and on details of her story. She looked flustered but also as though she believed her.

One of the officials approached them, looking as emotionless as ever.

"Your stories match up, you're free to go," he said gruffly.

"What will happen to Anne?" Lily said, looking at her now limp body.

"We'll be wiping her memory in a moment; she won't remember any of this ever happened." Lily nodded, that was common procedure she supposed, but all the same she had secretly hoped Anne would eventually accept the truth like her parents had.

"My memory? What are you going to do to me?" Anne was shaking again as the official's lifted their wands.

Lily walked home in silence, her parents looking at her fearfully. Her mum's faced was still streaked with tears and her eyes were as blood shot as Lily's attacker's. Her father was avoiding her eyes but thankfully not speaking. Lily found her room silent and empty, Opal hadn't returned so she was left to push her thoughts around in her head by herself, not that anyone would respond if she wrote to them.

It wasn't the attack that surprised her, random killings were becoming common these days; it was getting harder and harder to find someone who hadn't lost someone. Lily herself had watched her favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher being tortured and killed by Death Eaters her fourth year. It wasn't a pleasant memory, but then it wasn't unusual either.

No, what Lily was surprised about was how he hadn't just attacked out right. She was a good enough witch for her age, but having completely only five years at Hogwarts, she ought to have been killed instantly when faced with a grown wizard. In truth, he had warned us he was there by shouting freeze, rather than sneak up from behind. Either he lacked skill in fighting, or he hadn't meant to kill them at all. Confused and restless, Lily lay on her bed in the darkness, sleep a million miles away.


	2. The Last Day of Summer

The last day of summer, 1976

The blue light from the TV screen illuminated Petunia's face and Lily realized she no longer knew her. Petunia knew she was being watched, Lily saw her face tighten as she entered the room. Her hair was in curlers and she smelt like peroxide and nail polish. She didn't look like Petunia anymore. Petunia was the freckle faced girl whose nose wrinkled when she laughed and showed her how to make daisy chains.

That Petunia didn't have a store bought tan. That Petunia didn't scowl when Lily entered the room. That little girl was lost, and would never be found again. All the same, Lily loved her. She loved her because she knew that she was all that was left of that freckled little girl. She loved her because she was her sister. She could dye her hair and pretend not to know her on the street, but some part of her body, the blood they shared, wouldn't let Lily hate her.

The only thing that hurt was that Petunia would never love her back. When she looked at her, she didn't see Lily anymore, she saw a freak. Lily realized then that they were strangers.

Petunia laughed at a joke on her TV program but her nose no longer wrinkled and her laugh was high and unfamiliar. Lily had never heard it before, or never chose to. She wanted to reach out to her, to make her understand how much she needed her to be her sister again.

The stifling silence of the living room was more than she could take, the only noise was the metallic voices on the television. Her nobly legs carried her up to her room, where it still smelt like summer. It was quieter here but somehow less suffocating. The gentle humming of the air conditioning was broken only by the soft breathing of Opal, asleep in her cage.

Books still cluttered her floor. Not school books, but faded, coverless paper backs. Their dog eared pages had once been her only escape from the world. As a child her father read them to her and she played extensive games sailing in Narnia with Lucy or traveling across middle earth with Bilbo.

Usually Lily had played by herself, a loner even back then. Sometimes Petunia joined me but she had so little imagination Lily had wished she wouldn't. Petunia would scoff and was always ask stupid questions, "why a wardrobe" and "what's a Gollum""

In the past few weeks, when the air conditioner was broken and summers heat had become unbearable, Lily had searched again for the magical places she'd once disappeared to. The books were no longer enough. Lily found herself wondering "why a wardrobe" and shaking her head and looking for something else.

Lily was always looking from something. James was sure it was him. He had often remarked on the lost look on her face, when he caught her off guard. She would bristle and take points from Gryffindor. James didn't care about points, he didn't care about winning the house cup or whether people were angry at him.

His attitude angered me more than the rest of the things he did put together. Perhaps this was because she didn't care about these things either, the house cup was just a cup; no one would remember it a year from now. Especially with the world suddenly growing so black outside the safe walls of the castle.

For the first five years of her school career, she surrounded herself with friends. She was smart, pretty and well liked. She got asked to Hogsmeade by various boys; she discussed dress robes and snuck out to parties at night. She was also quite well liked by her professors. She never missed a class, never missed a chance to raise her hand with the answer. In every way, she lived in a comfortable, fake little world.

The more Lily looked at her life, the more she saw how empty she was. She had filled each day with fake smiles. She had no real friends who she could talk to, except of course Marlene, and Marlene seemed to have forgotten her. No one really cared what she was thinking or what she was feeling. Even Anne hadn't called her since the incident last month. Lily realized she had been feeling especially down since that day. She wanted this year to be different. She wasn't sure how, but she wanted to be happy.

She didn't clean up the pile of books; she wanted to remember her room just like this until she came home next Christmas. She always came home for Christmas; her parents would have it no other way. Sometimes she'd bring a couple friends, friends who she didn't keep up with. She'd pretend to still enjoy eggnog and carols.

The truth was Christmas wasn't the same as when she was seven. She'd still had faith in magic then, in real good magic like flying reindeer and elves that make toys. Now that she knew the horrible things that real magic could do, she longed for innocence, not just for herself but for the world.

Hogwarts had become her home. The cold stone walls and moth eaten tapestries had replaced the little bed room and warm kitchen where she spent her youth. She missed the feeling of being at home with her family. Perhaps that was what she was searching for.

It was late now, well after midnight. She could still hear the recorded voices on the television down stairs but she suspected Petunia had fallen asleep during her program. She sighed and ran a hand through her ratty, un-brushed hair. With out taking off her clothes, she climbed under the blankets and fell fast asleep.

xxxxxxx

The moon was rising over the azaleas. The sandy haired boy watched it defiantly from the grassy hill where he lay. Sirius sat beside him, smelling comforting and sour at the same time. A fire was crackling pleasantly and James was curled up beside it. Peter was vomiting in the bushes; the others saw his silhouette with blurred eyes.

"You know what's sad?" slurred Sirius, running his fingers through his black hair.

"What?" responded Remus after a moment.

"After tomorrow, we won't be able to do any of this anymore," Sirius paused and took a long drag from his cigarette. Sometimes, late and night when they had all drunk too much Sirius said things he'd never say during the day. "Tomorrow we'll be back. No more freedom. No more long nights doing nothing."

Remus nodded his agreement and took a cigarette for himself. Peter made a faint choking noise and looked rather ill. James didn't say anything, that night he had drunk more than any of them and was now probably asleep in his spot few feet away.

"I can think of something sadder though . . . " Remus said, watching smoke rings disappear into the air.

"What?" Peter asked, his voice soft.

"James doesn't care, there is only one thing on his mind," Remus said. James turned over in his sleep, as if in response

"True," Sirius gave a little laugh that was maybe half sympathetic.

"What? What's on his mind?" Peter asked. Peter was never the brightest of them.

"What do you think Wormtail, what's always on James mind?"

"Quiddich?"

"Aside from that . . . "

"Girls?"

"Close."

"Um . . . "

"Lily you dolt!" Sirius said, punching Peters shoulder. James sat up very suddenly.

"Where?" He looked around, "Lily?" James said, looking directly at Sirius.

"Poor guy." Sirius shook his head, "No Prongs, Siirriiuuus, I'm Sirius. Remember? Prongs can you hear me?" James wrinkled his nose and rolled back over. He was digging something out of his pocket, a newspaper clipping.

"Look," said Prongs, thrusting it bellow Sirius's nose. "She was attacked."

Sirius took the paper, it bore a picture of Lily Evans, looking a pretty as ever, albeit a bit ruffled.

"She could have died," James muttered, closing his eyes. No one responded. For someone to almost die was no longer surprising or uncommon.

Sirius surveyed the yard. It was the last night of summer and for once he wasn't eager to return to school. Usually he couldn't wait to escape his family but this year had been different. He has spent each day with Remus and James, they had been like his brothers. Sirius didn't like to admit it, but it had been like having a family.

Tomorrow he'd have to think about school and all that came with it. He wasn't eager to see anyone. He wasn't eager to worry about the threats facing the Wizarding world or his own problems or N.E.W.T. classes.

And then there was James, he's gone out with a couple girls in the past who were lovely in every way except for their complete lack of being Lily Evans. James had been in love with her since first year when he'd accidentally spilled pumpkin juice on her at the Halloween feast. He's had brief flings with other girls, but they were all fleeting and left him only more in love with Lily.

As the hot air engulfed them in scent of honeysuckle. Sirius took the last drag on his cigarette and put it out on the ground beside him. The mixture of this with the heavy smell of vodka was sickly and seemed to blanket them all as night fell. The fire was reduced to glowing coals. Sirius watched James as he slipped into uncomfortable dreams, filled with familiar green eyes.


End file.
